I need to write a blog post. That's what I keep telling myself when I'm at school, when I'm in the shower, when I'm eating my dinner. Yeah, you get the picture, it's all the time. And every time I think about it I cringe internally already feeling tired at the thought of trying to think of a topic to write about. Which is weird because when I start writing I enjoy it. Suddenly I have plenty of things to write about but it's the prospect of actually doing it that makes me want to curl up in the foetal position and cry about how if I don't write now I'll never write professionally and I'll just die alone with no money, in a cardboard box for a house.
Ok, so maybe a bit dramatic but that's how I feel and I can't get that niggling thought to go away. Until I actually achieve my own success it will get farther and farther away. Bearing all this in mind, I am still only 14 and should therefore have nothing to worry about other than GCSEs and spots. But I don't just have that, my mind is a little basket full of worries that creep up on me from time to time, reminding me there is somewhere I need to get to and every decision I make will effect that. It's tiring! Most of my friends haven't really given a thought as to which university they would like to study at but I have already made up my mind!
I'm probably not the only one who feels like this or has ever felt like this as I'm sure every other human being on the planet has, but it feels like I'm just one huge failure who will get no where in life. Depressing, I know. Sometimes I just want to forget about doing anything, marry an immensely rich man, hire a cleaner and having to do absolutely bugger all but to be quite honest I see myself finding that incredibly tedious. Not the rich man, the doing bugger all, rich man would be quite nice... *cough* hint *cough* hint.
I guess I shall just carry on with what I'm doing, writing a blog and as much as I can else where and enjoy being a teenager. Because I realise I won't be for long and soon I'll have a hell of a lot more to worry about so I should be counting my every blessing. Smile and do what you love then you'll have the best life in the whole world!