Thursday, 4 October 2012

Top 5 Songs you Love to Hate.

You know those songs that are gob-smackingly awful and yet, miraculously, either make it to the top of the charts or are very close to doing so? I hate those songs. And yet, there's a little part of my brain that has a soft spot for them and decides that remembering all of the lyrics and replaying them over and over again is a wonderful idea. You then get weird looks from people when you suddenly mutter in a low voice "I'm sexy and I know it" because you stopped concentrating for just a moment and let the horror of the song that won't leave your mind out of your mouth. It's just embarrassing. Although, we all do it. Either out of choice or pure accident. The following songs are in order of what I find the most terrible and yet have at some point in my life repeated itself numerous times causing me to be on the verge of going insane. Okay, maybe not that far but it feels pretty darn close.

5. Black and Yellow - Wiz Khalifa

I have this song in my head right now. It's torture. And yet for some reason millions seem to genuinely like it. Why? I have no idea. What I do know is that it's unbearably repetitive and makes very little sense. Okay, I get it's about his hometown but I definitely didn't learn anything more about Pittsburgh from listening to it.

4. Barbie Girl - Aqua

Man I love this song. Ahem, I mean hate it. It's a truly awful song. Right? But if I'm honest, in the best interests of my childhood, I really, really like it. Year 2 discos are brought to mind when I hear this song, wonderful memories of tacky pop songs booming out of the speakers whilst running around manically for no reason at all. It's horrific, but it's close to my heart. 

3. Gangnam Style - Psy

This is... New. I hadn't actually heard the song until very recently, and by god do I regret doing so. How on earth has this become viral? It's annoying, weird, no one apart from Korean speaking people know what it's actually about, vaguely sexist. You get the picture, it's one terrible song. And it managed to get to the top of the charts. I worry about our species sometimes, I really do. 

2. Baby - Justin Bieber

I'm not going to rant about Justin Bieber's music or hair or general self, because that's not the issue here. The issue is the song. I hate, I mean really hate, when artists warble their voice around because they think it sounds good. "oooaaaooohh" is not clever nor talented nor tasteful. And that's just the beginning. The lyrics are just completely generic and improbable. "I had my first love when I was 13" Oh, I'm sure you did. And the tune is borderline 2 year old's tiny keyboard type quality. This song is just one of the lowest of the low. It's just... No, just no. It's just awful. 

1. Axel F - Crazy Frog

I don't even have words.