5. Black and Yellow - Wiz Khalifa
I have this song in my head right now. It's torture. And yet for some reason millions seem to genuinely like it. Why? I have no idea. What I do know is that it's unbearably repetitive and makes very little sense. Okay, I get it's about his hometown but I definitely didn't learn anything more about Pittsburgh from listening to it.
4. Barbie Girl - Aqua
Man I love this song. Ahem, I mean hate it. It's a truly awful song. Right? But if I'm honest, in the best interests of my childhood, I really, really like it. Year 2 discos are brought to mind when I hear this song, wonderful memories of tacky pop songs booming out of the speakers whilst running around manically for no reason at all. It's horrific, but it's close to my heart.
3. Gangnam Style - Psy
This is... New. I hadn't actually heard the song until very recently, and by god do I regret doing so. How on earth has this become viral? It's annoying, weird, no one apart from Korean speaking people know what it's actually about, vaguely sexist. You get the picture, it's one terrible song. And it managed to get to the top of the charts. I worry about our species sometimes, I really do.
2. Baby - Justin Bieber
I'm not going to rant about Justin Bieber's music or hair or general self, because that's not the issue here. The issue is the song. I hate, I mean really hate, when artists warble their voice around because they think it sounds good. "oooaaaooohh" is not clever nor talented nor tasteful. And that's just the beginning. The lyrics are just completely generic and improbable. "I had my first love when I was 13" Oh, I'm sure you did. And the tune is borderline 2 year old's tiny keyboard type quality. This song is just one of the lowest of the low. It's just... No, just no. It's just awful.
1. Axel F - Crazy Frog
I don't even have words.