Saturday, 25 May 2013

Dear dad,

I so strongly believe that behind every powerful, confident and independent woman there is a great father who is one of the most significant figures to have made her that way. I have one of those fathers, and this is for him.

When I was a baby, a tiny baby, and you used to lie on the sofa with me curled up so small on your chest I think we secretly agreed the start of a very long and very brilliant friendship. I don't remember this, of course, but I think I know that's when it began.

You are the safest place in the entire world for me. You are so giant and steady that when I hug you it's like being embraced by a very friendly mountain, or something equally as tall. Cuddling you or 'cuggling' as I formerly knew it is so peaceful and so safe that I could be anywhere in the world and feel at home when you're there.

I also know that wherever I am, and wherever you are, if anything should happen to me you'd be there in a moment with your blue flashing lights to save me. I completely have faith in that, I know you will never ever let me down with it. It means that wherever I go I have an escape route, you'll always be there to rescue me. Thank you for that. It's such a wonderful thing to have.

Some of my most cherished memories have been when you and I have gone in the car to go nowhere and anywhere pumping our music out loud and driving a lot faster than you really should. I also remember you sitting Hannah and I in the playroom with the lights off and playing Pink Floyd in the dark and we all just sat there not speaking just listening to the music and feeling very calm. We were quite young but your passion for the music was so obvious we understood the importance of the moment. I love that passion, I love that because of you I also have it. Again, thank you.

You are so wise and so intelligent and I am just in absolute awe of you. I can tell you anything and everything that I know, that scares me, that I love, that angers me, that upsets me because you are always, always there to listen. Our conversations are one of the things I enjoy the most, they're so full and interesting and passionate and long and sometimes I believe we could talk forever and ever. I feel privileged I can talk to you like that, that you give me your time so generously because that's the thing so many other people genuinely look up to you and I get to know what you think on whatever and whenever I want.

You're so cool, and I really believe that. Not many children can say that their fathers are cool. I think of you as a best friend, as a mate. I know you don't even try to be but just naturally we are good companions.

But the most important thing about you and the one that has absolutely made me as confident as I am is that you completely and utterly believe in me. You have seen me as your equal ever since I could form my own thoughts about the world. You have seen me as a female and as your daughter and you have taught me that we are not superior or inferior to each other. I can be as intelligent as you or as creative or as passionate or as thoughtful in whatever I choose because as a human being I have just the same potential as you or any other. You have never laughed in my face or judged something I do and that has given me so, so much. You have supported me through everything I have ever done. I know now that whatever I do in the future it will not affect your love for me or your belief in me or your trust in me. I can be whomever I want and I can do whatever I choose and you have given me that power. I would not have that if you had not been there as my dad. I am so grateful for the confidence in myself and in what I do that has developed from you as my parent. As my father.

Oh, I am so glad I am my daddy's little girl because without that I would not be being who I am. I am me because of him, I know that completely.

So, happy birthday my brilliant dad.

I love you so extraordinarily, please always know that.