Hello. I hadn't realised how long it had been since I had last written. My mind has been whirring in its worst way. Obsessive, unhelpful, pointless thoughts churning round and round and round. There is such a thing as overthinking, and I do it.
I am still in that limbo of life. The past still close enough to mourn its passing, the future still so far away I can't see anything in it. And yet knowing full well that both exist only in my mind, especially the future, I obsess over something entirely without substance.
Sometimes when I feel like this I feel as if I have floated away from earth into some faraway corner of my head. The world seems distant and unreal as thoughts about events that haven't happened cloud over everything. It is quite hard to anchor myself back down, my mind floating up and up and up.
I want someone (myself) to scream "Now is the only thing happening! Now is good! Pay attention to now!" because now is going to disappear and I will regret floating away from it.
This is why I haven't written. Writing plants me in the now, and I have been too cowardly to properly find an anchor. But here I am, I am bored of my mind. My overthinking has tired me.
Back to reality, I hope.
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