In Afghanistan, there are women.

Before I start I want you to know that I cried before writing this, because it scares me. Ready?

In Afghanistan a woman's son was kidnapped and killed because she's a headmistress of a girls' school. His three month old corpse was found with 12 gun shot wounds to his body. She continues to educate young women in a world where women are dirt on men's shoes. She continues to be threatened by her son's murderers. Her husband was told this by them, "Your wife is working, she was a [parliamentary] candidate, and was awarded the Malalai gold medal by Afghan-Americans. And you still say you have done nothing and ask why we are cruel to you?" 

In Afghanistan a woman and her family was targeted by the Taliban for working as a gynaecologist providing healthcare for women suffering from abuse, including rape and domestic violence. She worked for an abortion clinic working for girls who had been raped by their relatives. If these girls did not have an abortion, they would be killed by their families in an 'honour' killing. Two years after receiving warnings from the Taliban, her 11 year old son was almost killed by a grenade in her back garden. Six months later her 22 year old brother actually died in a grenade attack in the front of her house. 

In Afghanistan, in recent months, the last two most senior female police officers in Helmand province have been murdered. 

In Afghanistan women continue to work in full burkas, receiving threats from the Taliban, spat on, murdered, judged, deceived, exploited, attacked. 

This is because they are women. I am so disgusted by this discrimination I could be sick. My respect for every single female in that country could not be greater. They persist in a slow and terrible fight every single day. 

Amnesty International is asking for local MPs to be contacted and pushed for support by the UK for women in Afghanistan after many countries pull out in 2014. Here's the link. https://www.amnesty.org.uk/actions/stop-violence-against-women-activists-afghanistan?utm_source=Email&utm_medium=niche_email&utm_campaign=women&utm_content=button2

In Afghanistan there is an entire country of strong but frightened women. I give them words and thoughts with hope and love because unfortunately it's all I can afford. 

Friends with different body parts.

I know this might seem really alien, but I actually I have a few guy friends who aren't complete jerks. I know. Shocking. They're all genuinely nice, intelligent human beings with good intentions and without any misogynist superiority complexes. I get on well with all of them, we all laugh together, none of them put me down with some messed up sexist comments, and we all accept the fact that I'm a girl and they're boys and we can all be friends with different body parts. It's cool. 

Despite this, however, I continue to be told by some members of society that my friendship with these lovely boys is not real. They only talk to me because they want something more. They're the same as every other sexist male pig; all they want is to GET IN MY PANTS. This is because of course scientifically it's impossible for any male to be polite and kind and friendly with a girl without some sort of dirty intention. And we forgive them all for this natural desire, their brains can only run on two thoughts: BOOBS and SEX. This even dates back to the middle ages where women could be possessions. In fact, why don't we forget the whole friends and equality thing and bring back this mentality? Because men won't change, right? 

Of course that would be completely and utterly ridiculous because most decent human beings are feminists without even knowing. Due to the fact that a nice person usually tends to like the idea of complete equality between the human race as it would be rather jolly if we could all just get on. 

I think it ridiculously unfair that we allow ourselves to assume every man has the same intentions with women and can't possibly be friends with one. If we are to continue a feminist revolution we've got to remind society that we are fighting for equality, not for female superiority. This means we need to stop presuming every kind male to have malicious intent behind his female friends and accept the fact that there are nice gentlemen, and there are nice ladies and they don't all have to want to have sex with each other. 

In When Harry Met Sally, Harry says that a man and a woman can't be friends without there being something more for one or the other. I think in some senses this is true, it's often natural for someone to start developing feelings for the opposite sex (if they're straight) when they spend a lot of time with them. 

But I'd like us to accept the fact that we can all be friends with different body parts and that it's totally cool. Thanks. 

Kids grow up so fast, girls even faster.

I would like for somebody to approach me and tell me why when children reach the age of about 12 there is a divide into how girls and boys are considered. A boy may reach the age of 12 and still want to play Pokemon and think girls give you germs, whereas, a girl may reach the age of 12 and start to think that makeup makes a child's face look older.

The boy will be asked no questions. He is a boy, after all.

The girl, however, will be pat on the head and told how cute and 'underdeveloped' she is should she choose to steal her innocence for a while longer. She has to steal it, for after a certain age a girl's innocence may no longer be her own.

As soon as a young girl starts to develop, grow boobs, wear a bra, have wider hips, she is subject to the unfair interpretation of the world around her. Inside her head she may still be wanting to play outside when she gets home but to everyone else she should want to stick posters of boys on her wall and act twice the age she is.

It is not impossible for a boy to go through judgement if he does not grow up fast enough, but from my experience of still technically being a child it's a very real thing for little girls in their tween years. There are boys in my school who can still hold onto their childlike qualities without judgement, some of them are even accepted by the 'cool' groups.

But let a girl go innocently into year 8 with pigtails and a fresh face and CBBC straight on when she gets home, and you witness a reject. The darling little girl who thinks that makeup is silly and boys smell, bless. Compared to the girls already frightened of their own appearance she must be happier. She hasn't grown up. She probably doesn't have men second guessing her age and staring her innocence away as she walks down the street with the new body she didn't ask for. Because she held onto her childhood, she's allowed to be free from oppressive sexism just a little while longer.

Don't make girls grow up when they don't want to. Once you say goodbye to your blissful naivety, it never comes back.

The inner most thoughts of an exam student.

The entire hall is filled with shuffling silence. A sort of desperation pushes the tips of each student's pen as it rapidly scribbles across the page. Just under a hundred different answers being written at the exact same time for the exact same question. Some will be wrong, most will be 'right'. The fear of expected failure can be smelt. We all expect it because believing otherwise can bring disappointment and knowing you are good at a subject would just be vain, right?

Our teachers have told us that we'll be fine, you've done the work, you'll do well. I don't think anyone ever believes them. Writing for 2 and a quarter hours under exam conditions you say? Surely this will only end badly.

The clock will not speed up nor slow down during this experience but despite this I still manage to look up as if I have a twitch every five minutes. It's okay, I tell myself, I'm on schedule. Thinking isn't really necessary during the exam, only reading and writing. There is no time in between to ponder what will be for tea or what's on telly tonight. All my brain can focus on is whether the headline in this article uses a metaphor or not.

Metaphor. Simile. Pun. Alliteration. Emotive. Persuasive. Informative.

It's as if I've been programmed to think only these things until I have finished writing and only then. Literally nothing else can enter my mind unless it goes along the lines of a one person conversation such as,  "Oh my god this is taking forever I'm never going to finish and then I'll fail this exam and then all my exams and then all my GCSEs and then I'll just have to never get a job." "Mollie?" "Yes?" "Shut up."
And then the writing commences immediately after.

What I never anticipate, however, is the waiting that comes from finishing an exam 35 minutes before its actual end. When you're not tired enough to fall asleep during those empty minutes, time suddenly starts to go very, very slowly. The thoughts you held back during the writing come back randomly in a strange order as your mind is strangled by boredom.

These thoughts are not the miraculous realisation of why man kind exists, or why we fall in love, or how to travel through time. No, these are the most trivial thoughts one might experience in their life time. I guess it's the sudden contrast from hard concentration to a short void of nothingness that creates a less than inspiring string of daydream.

The shuffling silence is no longer full of nervous energy, despite probably still being quite true. The desperation that once belonged to you has faded. Now you have done the work. The exam is done. You've done what you've been asked and now you can wait for months for the dreaded result.

I wouldn't say an exam was an emotional roller coaster, rather a simple plane journey with a bit of turbulence at the start.

The 'other' option.

I spent the entire day at school going through different workshops informing me about the choices I should be making. These included A Levels, sixth forms/colleges, university courses, and work experience. Overall, I became bored very quickly and struggled to pay attention to the uninspiring information being given to me about my life in further education. A life suggested throughout the day to be important if you want to have a job, or money, or stability, or happiness.

There was this vague mention somewhere along the way about the 'other' options that were available to me in a mystical land that was dangerous and not governed by a 'system'. It was always a quick "you're not obliged to go to uni BUT it is probably for the best..." and then swiftly moving on into the benefits higher education can and will provide. "It's not for everyone." would be thrown in occasionally, with absolutely no explanation as to what the everyone it's not for would do.

I understand I'm lucky to be provided with support and information about certain life choices and decisions I'm going to have to make. I am somebody interested in going to university, but this interest is only based on the fact I want the 'experience'. The degree at the end is something I'm currently not bothered by. This leads me to question the sense in me actually going through further education, if I don't believe it will crucially affect my career and the massive debt I will have at the end of it.

However, if I was to decide against going to university, where is the information day about what to do then? I'd obviously need support and advice with this resolution but currently I'd have no idea where to find it. I think the most likely response to this would be an attempt at changing my mind, by the school anyway. Predominantly because I think they wouldn't have a clue about what to do with me.

Why is there only this ambiguous mention of the 'other' option? Surely it would be more logical to provide detail about not going into further education as its the lesser known path? It may seem a little too 'alternative' to your standard, uniform school but to let the students leaning towards this option down would be an unfair mistake.

I was only given one option today, when I know there are others out there. It was either study your A Levels and go to uni or... Do something that isn't that, it isn't clear and we won't tell you much about it because you probably won't succeed anyway.

I probably will end up choosing to study further education, and enjoy it too, but I'd be reassured to know those who choose to enter the real world faster than most have a source of support and advice similar to that of the university path.

The Pinterest Pretense.

I wake up at 7 am to the sound of my retro alarm clock just as the sun rises and shines into my Bohemian bedroom. My handmade multicoloured quilt is scrunched at the bottom of the mattress on the floor, bed frames are so last season. I get up and look through my shabby flat window out onto the city's skyline, made golden by the sunrise. Today will be fabulous.

I look over at my boyfriend still asleep on the bed, his hipster beard looking scraggy and his ungelled hair even more so. His tattoo covered arm hangs over the side of the mattress, its intricate design shows little flesh but sincere meaning and self expression is demonstrated in the ink. Much like the stretcher he exhibits in one ear. Oh, and the cartilage piercing too. He won't wake up for a while, so I leave our Moroccan inspired room and go to the bathroom.

Bathing in lavender oil, bicarbonate of soda and rose petal leaves makes me feel refreshed for the day ahead. I then change into my darling, mustard yellow, Peter Pan collared dress and knee high, woollen socks before returning to the mirror to fix my hair into something marvellous. This of course only takes a moment in the 'Five Easy Steps' I take to pull and plait ten different parts of my hair into a large pastry type thing on my head. Applying makeup is a doddle as I slide a line of liquid eyeliner over my lids, brush a little mascara on, and dab my lips with rose water balm.

Breakfast is delightful as usual, and extremely healthy too. I eat sliced banana with homemade peanut butter, natural yogurt and fresh blueberries, and fat free butter spread over my homemade wheat free, gluten free, meat free, dairy free, vegan friendly walnut and pecan bread before sipping on my freshly pressed French coffee. This all occurs of course at the breakfast bar, with its oak surface and green, painted cupboards.

It's not even 8 o'clock yet.

And then-

Oh my, I say after repinning another pumpkin latte recipe, I'm exhausted. I may have to rethink my Pinterest lifestyle for another day.

InRealLife

Today I was linked to a website for an upcoming documentary called "InRealLife". It follows some young people in their day to day lives and their use of that terrifying platform "Social Media". The film's short summary says "InRealLife takes us on a journey from the bedrooms of British teenagers to the world of Silicon Valley, to find out what exactly the internet is doing to our children." which, to me, is a fairly odd statement to make. It instantly implies the terror and danger of the internet, suggesting it is deliberately 'doing' something to our children like junk food would. As if it carries some sort of terrible disease. As if ultimately a young person with any reasonable intelligence has absolutely no control over how he uses the Internet. 

The trailer for the film conveys young people using their preferred aspects of the Internet, ie. Youtube, Facebook, Twitter and even porn. The only point made that seemed agreeable, or even interesting, was that the exploitation of Internet porn is causing some young boys to mix up their reality with a photoshopped, well lit, well angled fantasy. The rest, it seemed to me, was rather pointless. 

The trailer appeared really over-dramatised, with a build up of tension towards the end like you would expect to see in a horror movie trailer. A quick, punchy montage of "frightening" images of examples of the scary Internet world did seem a little over the top. The fact that one of those images was a clip of a girl claiming a Youtube sensation commenting on her video had made her life, followed by the guy at a Youtube meet up surrounded by screaming fan girls made me believe the documentary is going to completely miss the point. The Youtube sensations and fandom is, in my opinion, currently one of the greatest aspects of 'Social Media' for young people. It's a community of passionate and nerdy fans, artists, vloggers, musicians, comedians, film makers, and video gamers. Will "InRealLife" mention the impact this community has on young people? The group of friends they found through it who understand them in a world that sometimes doesn't? 

And what about blogging and vlogging itself? Is that what the Internet is 'doing' to me? Alas, there's that age-old risk of bumping into a pedophile in this virtual place, right? Better not use this wonderful platform to express myself through my writing, or I might spontaneously give out my address to a complete stranger. 

I haven't seen the film yet of course, and I don't yet know if I will, so its content could contrast to how the trailer initially depicted it. However, if it is anything like how it advertises itself I'm going to be irritated to say the least. Another group of adults telling my generation they're too stupid to think for themselves and discover the Internet's risks and wonders. How boring. Our society has altered slightly due to Social Media, but it isn't the first sign of a coming apocalypse and it isn't the beginning of the break down of physical interaction. I still manage to see daylight and have face to face conversations, it's okay. 

http://inreallifefilm.com/about