Top 7 family Christmas traditions.

I love Christmas. I love the excitement, the food, the music, the presents, the decoration, the games and the happiness I feel when I celebrate at this time of year. I also love the fact that for every single family there are separate and equally wonderful traditions for Christmas day. I like how some are similar, and some are completely different and unique to that family. And how each one means so much to the individuals. I love how rarely one changes a Christmas tradition, and that many have been carried out the whole of their lives. I love how the magic of Christmas changes through age, but never disappears. These are my family traditions that make Christmas for me, and are part of the magic I get excited for.

7. My gran's mince pies.

Now these are the absolute bomb. Having tried one of these beauties you'll never want to turn back. Nothing is quite a excellent as the squidgy, moist but not too moist pastry that literally makes your mouth water. It really is a unique recipe that has been passed down to my mum so that we get the pleasure of making them, and it wouldn't be Christmas without having at least one homemade mince pie.

6. Elf. 


I don't think there's been a Christmas since the film was made that we haven't watched it. It's one of those movies that never gets boring no matter how many times it's been viewed. My dad's a huge sucker for it, claiming every year that it is definitely one of his favourite films. Elf is a favourite for having the whole family in front of the TV, with the fire on, and feeling very Christmassy. It's a tradition I hope never dies.

5. Calling relatives to sing down the phone. 

Every year we call, or we receive a call, with a verse and a chorus of 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' on Christmas day. Everyone in the house joins in and the family on the end of the line join in too, it's like our own private carol service. Except much shorter and we aren't quite as bored. And then we discuss what we got, thank each other for the presents we gave and tell the plans for the rest of the day. It's just a nice way of staying in contact with the relatives you couldn't spend the day with. And Christmas wouldn't be the same without mum telling me to say thank you to aunties for presents I have to search for frantically so I can remember what they actually gave me.

4. Charades. 

This is pronounced Charardes in my family because we are not Northern or American. Every Christmas evening there has to be at least several rounds of the game. With the family members most awful at it having the most goes because they're hilarious to watch, and we don't give them much choice. It's particularly brilliant when someone has to mime something impossible, and we all just laugh at them giving them no mercy. Because Christmas is a time for loving.

3. A tin of Roses or Quality Street.

Christmas is essentially a time for binge eating, an excuse to eat everything you absolutely love in enormous quantities. So after we've eaten the gigantic roast dinner, had second helpings of Christmas pudding and mince pies with brandy butter we convince ourselves that there is definitely plenty of room for chocolate. Every year the tin is bought and kept in the cupboard until Christmas day, or Christmas eve if we fail at waiting any longer, and is demolished in less than 24 hours. In my family, the concept of saving things for later rarely exists particularly with sweets and puddings. And so we often lie to ourselves at having 'just four' but in fact eating about ten and losing count because you're too absorbed in the process of eating them. By the time we come to the end of tin and only the unpopular chocolates are left we force ourselves to eat them, in favour of not wasting food. Obviously.

2. Doctor Who Christmas Special. 

Christmas hasn't ever been the same since Doctor Who was reintroduced onto our screens. The most important reason for the Christmas Radio Times is to know when the Doctor Who special is on. In fact, one of the first questions asked on Christmas morning is always "when's Doctor Who on?" because without it we feel Christmas really wouldn't be the same. Even though, as much as I love the show, the Christmas specials are always ridiculous it's a tradition that's popular in the family, and everything stops just for an hour so we can watch it. And any family members that don't watch it normally are forced into it by majority rule. Again, Christmas is a time for loving.

1. Present Piles. 

My sister and I feel that without the organisation of presents into piles for the people they're meant for would make the process of unwrapping them very messy. That and the fact that it's something to keep us entertained until the adults stop messing around and get down to business with the gifts. It also gives us the chance to see who has the biggest pile and whether the average size of the gifts are big or small. I'm honestly not the type of person who values Christmas simply for the presents, nor do I pull a tantrum if my sister's pile is bigger than mine, it's just been our tradition since we believed in Father Christmas. And I hope we still do it as adults, just for old times' sake.

I'm a Barbie girl.

When I was a little girl, I loved to play with Barbies. I loved my Playmobil and baby dolls too, but my Barbies were quite high on the favourite toys list. I had the whole 'shebang' when it came to Barbies; I had the lounge, the bedroom, and I even had the pregnant one with the removable stomach and tiny baby. My only version of Ken was my dad's old Action Man from when he was a boy, so he was obviously very busy in my little Barbie world. But I didn't just brush their hair and put pretty pink dresses on these dolls, I was more interested making realistic scenarios for these girls. I loved making the dolls reenact how I thought adults behaved, and they didn't just go shopping or have sleepovers. They lived gripping story lines as young widows with my Shelly doll and the tiny baby as their young families, and they only had tiny one bedroomed flats to live in because that's all the furniture I had. And the majority of the time they had to earn their own income for this young family because I only had one Ken and sometimes I couldn't find him. But it was okay because a woman doesn't always need a husband in order to survive, she can do perfectly well by herself.

However, despite these heart wrenching stories I contrived with my Barbie dolls whom were all independent, confident women, obviously, I am being told that by now I should have terrible body image because of them. Because whilst I was playing out these lives the ridiculously unrealistic bodies the dolls have were greatly affecting me, and some day I would be upset I didn't have arms that didn't bend properly. Fortunately I am not looking into surgery that will make my hands cease movement and become spatulas at the end of my arms because of the dolls I played with as a child. When I was an 8 year old I did not see the old fashioned misogynist view of how a woman should look in my Barbies, I just saw tiny plastic figurines that would be fantastic to play with. I laughed at the fact that their boobs were like odd looking cones on their chests, and that their feet would in no way be able to stand them up. I was annoyed, in fact, that they could not stand for themselves because it was a great obstacle in the stories as you could guess.

I can understand why some are becoming concerned in this day and age with the image that Barbie dolls portray to young girls, or boys. But I completely dismiss the claim that the toys are the root cause for my bad body image. I hold that blame entirely to the media. Whilst Barbie has the skinny waist, beautiful smile, gorgeous legs and luscious, long blonde hair it is not these features that were the focus in my play with the dolls. As you can see, I was far too busy making soap opera like scenarios with them and the one lone Ken/Action Man doll. I believe that adults have forgotten what it's like to be little, to not have the concerns and damage that the world brings on them. That a little girl playing with her Barbies dolls in the bath is just innocence, and to her it is just a trip to the pool or beach and not the display of 'perfect' female bodies that she will long for at 8 years old.

I agree that the stereotyping nowadays of Barbie dolls has gone a little too far, and I wouldn't have cared less if the box she came in was blue or neon green and not pink. It was the endless stories and games that the doll had the potential for I was excited about. I refuse to be labelled as 'girly' for playing with the dolls, and that cutting their heads off with blunt scissors and flushing them down the loo would have been any more morally sound. At the time I can remember my favourite colour being red, and that if I was given a remote controlled car or something boys were 'supposed' to play with I would have been equally as happy. I don't regret playing with Barbies and it hasn't made me into a 'girly' girl who only functions for the existence of pink fluff and sparkles. The dolls have not made me buy makeup when I go shopping or hair products or nail polish, in fact I usually buy books.

Therefore, I loved to play with my Barbies and I am proud to say I have not been mentally damaged by them. I have grown up sane and with a grasp on reality, almost. And I do not blame my often awful view of my body on the toys I used to play with as a little girl.

Imagination.

Imagination is the most important, most wonderful thing the human species possesses. I find it so absolutely fascinating, that we can create and visualise literally anything. In our minds we can have/do/say/be/want/see/smell/hear anything we desire. The power that produces is immense, it means that sometimes our own mind is so strong we can sometimes use our own imagination against ourselves, almost force ourselves unwillingly to believe in something that is not real. Without imagination you would not have any of the items you possess today. If someone had not created in their minds an object or system or idea that would suit the problem at hand, then we would all be naked and unsheltered and hungry. And bored. So incredibly bored.

Whilst some of the most basic necessities to life are driven by instinct, like eating, I would not be wearing a scarf this moment if someone had not thought "I know how we can keep our necks warm, I've imagined wrapping a soft material around them." And someone else had also used their imagining power and replied "Yes, what a jolly good idea. We shall call them scarfs although I have no idea why, I only imagined the name, but I believe it suits perfectly." and there of course you have the accurate and heart warming tale of how the scarf was invented. However, without being silly it is true that without imagination there would be many things we as humans would never have, and life would be absurdly dull.

Although, without the practical side of imagination being key in our survival as human beings it is most ardently magnificent in the name of 'recreational' and creative purposes only. Had humans not had the beautiful idea of imagining tiny beings and worlds and creatures outside of the animal kingdom we know to be real, my room would not be full of fairies and fairytales. And I adore my fairies and fairytales. I think it is so wonderful that we create such magical and mysterious stories and myths to either explain and understand our own world and issues or simply to enjoy the thrill of the unknown. As a little girl I can picture so vividly the excitement and wonder I had when I truly and undoubtedly believed in fairies and pixies and elves and Father Christmas and other such things. It was such a happy and innocent and lovely feeling that I only wish I could feel it once more, that I could loyally believe in tiny winged creatures that wrote me letters from the bottom of the garden again. Now I can only smile at the beauty of the imagination of books like The Hobbit, and know that as a child I would have used it like an encyclopaedia for referring to the dwarves and goblins that would have existed in my mind. Although, I am still avid about the idea that Peter Pan could quite possibly be real and that soon he shall arrive at my window and take me to Neverland.

Of course I owe this truly wonderful type of happiness to the authors and creators of the stories. For without artists of any sort we would not have the worlds we can escape to, and the peace with which we find in them. I believe I would like someday to create a story for little girls and boys who are just like me and love to live in the endless world of their imaginations. But it will also be for, again like me, the people who have grown up physically but chosen to leave part of themselves as a child to feel the wonder of imagination forever.

It will always be children who are the true masters of imagination, for they have the real power to believe in something unreal but completely magical. Whilst adults can use imagination for practicality and development, artists and children shall use it to create nonexistent people and creatures and worlds. And forget reality, because their minds are far more interesting places.

Purpose.

I think it's very important to have a hobby, or to have something that will keep your mind occupied. If you're working hard at work or school, you've got something you're working towards or for. You're doing something purposeful. If you have a hobby that you're passionate about then you push yourself to do well in it, maybe even to be the best at it. Both of these things allow your mind to focus on something, or maybe take your mind off other things. Without a focus or a purposeful subject in your life, I find that it becomes difficult to concentrate. You feel as if you're just floating through life, getting nothing done, getting nothing out of life. I, personally, need to feel as if I'm doing something with a goal. If I'm working towards something and enjoying it, feeling satisfied by it, then I feel as if I'm making some of the best of my life. I don't feel as if I'm wasting my time away doing nothing.

Keep your mind occupied with things that you enjoy, or work so that you will get to those things that you enjoy. Just make sure that you are always enjoying it, because otherwise it loses its objective.

Clarice Bean.

"For a long time I used to go to bed early. But now I go to bed late. I am not sleeping at night and I wake up in the dark. And my mind is thinking and spinning." 

Under the age of about 10, I read very little. Only when my mum read to me, or when I found a really special book I truly enjoyed, did I read. These occasions were quite sparse over the years. The Secret Garden and Pollyanna were books read to me, and sometimes I would be sucked into the gruesome tales of the Goosebumps stories if I should come across them in the school library. I was always partial to the ones that had multiple twists and endings in a single story, this way you could read the book over and over and never have the same plot. However, the series of books that genuinely touched me, and stayed close to my heart were Clarice Bean by Lauren Child.

Unfortunately, there were times as a young child when I was quite lonely. Floating between friends who never seemed as if they honestly enjoyed your company was somewhat disheartening for an 8/9 year old. It wasn't as if I was a horrible child who bullied everyone else on the playground, or the kid that never washed and people generally avoided. I just knew there wasn't anyone who I was completely fond of, and could genuinely call my best friend. What I did know, and what was quite sad, was that if Clarice Bean had been a real person then for almost certain we would have been the best of friends. I was sure that Clarice was a girl after my own heart, and that we would have got on like a house on fire.

However, Clarice was a fictional character and only existed in my imagination and in the pages of books. They were fantastic novels too. Not only was the language hilariously witty that now having matured quite a bit I realise I missed a fair chunk of the observational humour, and the font and illustrations were so funky and chic, but the stories themselves were so relatable particularly as a young girl just like Clarice. There were only three of the novels, and a lot more of the short picture books, but with the novels Clarice grew older. Towards the last book the illustrations disappeared and the content was more mature, so you not only felt that you'd grown up with Clarice but that you'd reached the stages of a more sophisticated reading.

It was particularly in the last book when I really realised that I was actually quite lonely, and that Clarice Bean would be the perfect best friend. In this book 'Don't Look Now' Clarice's best friend Betty Moody leaves to go to America, and Clarice is completely distraught. She seems so lonely and upset that whilst reading it I noticed that I felt quite similar to her. Clarice also seeks solace in her favourite book character, Ruby Redfort, and fantasises about meeting her, so basically I mirrored exactly what she did. And not intentionally. I can remember crying in some parts of the book because I felt so desperately sad for her, and so wished that she could be real and we could stop each other from feeling lonely.

I thought Clarice was a hoot, I was in awe of her. She had an older brother and a cool name and she just seemed the type of girl I wanted to be. She would be the type of friend who would always make you laugh, and always know all the cool things that you didn't and she would just be wonderful. I adored Clarice Tuesday Bean, and I adored the books. And I shall read them to my daughters, and hope that they should already have their own Clarices but that they would be real.

Apprehension.

Almost everyday I feel apprehensive about something. Obviously, this is fairly normal but sometimes it can be quite restricting. Especially when this apprehension causes me to miss out on something, or lose an important opportunity. Too often do I take this apprehension seriously and take the easy option of just going home, taking the safe side and forgetting about the thing I was nervous about. This could be talking to people I don't really know, asking questions that could help me but being too afraid to ask, not going out and doing something fun because I feel the slightest bit under the weather and I don't want to risk being really ill. Stupid little things, that really aren't worth all the worry and that I should just push through the apprehension and grasp the opportunities by the horns.

I try to teach myself not to do this, to let myself go and forget my worries. And recently I think it's beginning to work. I've been able to minimise the nerves I get before doing things that sometimes are out of my comfort zone, and enjoying myself because of this. Having taught myself this I've now begun to realise that life's actually pretty wonderful when there's no worry.

I suggest that if you also find you're holding yourself back with apprehension then you should try and make the most of everything until eventually the worry disappears and you can only have fun.

On being a teenage feminist.

I am a feminist. I don't burn bras, I don't hate men, I am simply a feminist. And what that means is that I strongly believe in equality. And that is all. I don't think that women are superior to men, I don't believe men should suffer for the many years of female oppression and I don't believe that the roles should be reversed and that women should be the dominant sex and men be the "weaker". What I do believe, and what I fight for along with many others is for both genders to be acknowledged and treated equally in every means and in every society.

Unfortunately this equality between every man and woman has not yet been achieved anywhere in the world. In some cases women still get paid smaller salaries than men, the objectification of women and overall portrayal of women in the media has become more and more degrading and the equality we had obtained in our image has gone backwards. The majority of rape and sexual assault victims still don't receive the appropriate justice in court and by society with seedy lines like "her clothes were too provocative" doing the rounds and many cases being dropped or ignored. Mainly because of the taboo we have created around the subject. Sexual harassment occurs in almost every woman's daily life without much thought or care of the actual seriousness of the issue.

In countries such as Afghanistan even more unjust cases of oppression are happening this moment with the absolute hatred of women from the Taliban causing them to almost cease to exist. Women are unable to go into the streets without wearing a full burqa with only a tiny slit of lace to see through or without a male accompanying them, they are unable to work or earn any money, an unmarried young woman cannot talk to an unmarried young male without being forced to marry them. More horrifyingly, a woman of any age cannot be examined by a male doctor, and with women unable to work the Taliban have essentially destroyed women's health care. Girls also cannot go to school or university.
I can't fully explain the evil that the Taliban have inflicted upon the female population of Afghanistan or other countries and areas occupied by them. Their treatment of everybody is obviously disgusting, but their complete disregard of half of their species is abominable.

I can think of many other cases similar to this awful oppression of women, all of them being the reason I still believe strongly that this equality is so worth fighting for. Although, in this century where many think that the equality has already been reached believe that by calling myself a feminist and making these points and statements about sexism and oppression that I'm just a righteous bitch moaning and whining about something that is age old and not worth talking about anymore. It's not age old and it certainly still is worth talking about. I don't care what some of my peers may think of me for being this passionate about the subject, or that some find it unattractive, or why the hell do I even care because I'm only 14 and most of these issues don't effect me anyway? Those people aren't worth thinking about, and some are even the reason I can still call myself a feminist. Because there's still a lot out there to fight against.

I don't want to make this piece angry and off-putting and place myself right in the middle of the stereotypical category of feminists, all raging and anti-men. That's not who I am, who I am is passionate about anti-inequality. On one hand, it's not a light subject and it is quite easy for someone like me to become overly ardent about expressing the issues. But on the other hand, if as a teenage girl I want to portray to people and make them understand that this is important then I have to do it in a way that won't discourage them and make them see me as just a moody cow who doesn't see the fun in life.

I want to be known as a feminist, I want to encourage others, boy or girl, to also be feminist and to want to fight for equality. I want to see as I grow up my belief in this right to be equal with everyone become closer to being true. I want let all the women before be like the suffragettes know that what they fought for so bravely will not be forgotten until it is fully and properly achieved. I'm not a righteous bitch, I'm just 14 years old and I want to make a difference in the world. Even if it's subtly and quietly, I want to know that I supported the belief in equality and hopefully, one day, see it happen.